I had a most powerful dream last night. In my dream, I was emotionally distraught over the state of my life. I was depressed and feeling unsupported and in great need. Out of the blue, my father (who has been dead for 21 years) walked up to me. Not the Dad that I lost, but a younger and most vitalized Dad. He asked me how I was doing, and I told him honestly that I was "up and down". He took my hand and walked with me into a building where he was throwing a party. He was wearing a tuxedo of sorts and looked quite dashing. He left me in charge and knew that everything would be alright. His confidence in me and that simple gesture of taking my hand made everything else melt away. I woke up in a very emotional state.
What is interesting about this dream -- especially for anyone that knew my father -- is that not until the very end before he died, would he have reached out to me in any form. Only before he died was he able to start building a relationship with me. By the time of his death, we had what I would call a gratifying relationship.
I think about him often and believe that my dream was him directly telling me everything was going to be okay...or it was just my mind processing out the many complicated emotions that are my life. In either situation, knowing that I could hold my father's hand one more time....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Sometimes the dream is what you interpret it to be. Like you, my father didn't reach out until the last year of his life, it wasn't "manly" to show that love for a son, but dad did his best. They are indeed messages usually received in the state between being awake and actually being asleep. Just my opinion, but the gesture of taking your hand and leaving you in charge is his message to you that you are doing a better job with Michael and Olivia than he did with you. Many people do not have the opportunity for the interactions such as you had, be grateful for the experience, you're a great dad.
ReplyDeleteYou trying to make me cry? What a great dream!!!!
ReplyDelete