When I was straight

So...I was having coffee with someone the other day and they used the phrase "When I was straight".  It really struck me.  I had a hard time relating to it because I was never straight.  There were periods of tikme when I led a straight lifestyle, but I was never straight.  However, the phrase has stuck with me. It really got me thinking of what life was like "when I was straight".

When I was straight, I was so concerned with what everyone thought about me that I was paralyzed and couldn't make any choices that I wanted.

When I was straight, I had no ambition...never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.

When I was straight, I would have done almost anything if someone said they loved me.

When I was straight, I drank too much and sexed irresponsibly. 

When I was straight, I had no personal power, dignity or self respect

When I was straight, I had to posture every day and be guarded to what everyone else was able to know about me

When I was straight, I was miserable and unhappy.

I am not straight.  I am still concerned with what some people think of me, but their opinions only inform my thinking and do not rule my life. 

I am not straight.  I have strong ambitions and have been able to accomplish many things and I now feel like an adult.  That is an amazing and wonderful feeling.

I am not straight.  I have learned that just because someone says they love, doesn't mean they do or that you have to love them back.  It also doesn't mean that you lose your voice, your brain or your own self efficacy.

I am not straight.  I have learned that things in moderation, when done safely, is what brings the richness to life. 

I am not straight.  My personal power is strong vibrant and I am proud of the person I have become.  This is me.  No excuses.

When I was straight, I was not me.