Capturing the opportunity

Over the past year, I have opened a group practice and grown it to double the size.  This has required a tremendous amount from me, but more so from Joe and the kids.  I have worked crazy 16 hour days and left them to their own devices -- Joe single parenting the kids many nights.  It has been a trek for all of us.

What I know is that they work hard so that I can work hard.  I couldn't do any of this without the full support and commitment of all three of them.  They do so much and ask me for so little.  I try to be "home" when I am home -- although, I am usually exhausted and need to sleep (and for those that know me, you know that doesn't happen easily).

Tonight a strange and unusual thing happened.  For some reason my patients tonight cancelled for one reason or another and my night ended early.  Usually, I would be trying to fill the slots from the wait list and ensuring that I had a full insurance billing by the end of the week.  However, tonight was different  I decided to capture the opportunity.  I went home.  I went home while both kids were still awake.  While I was still awake.

Olivia squealed when she saw me -- excited that I would be able to kiss her goodnight and write on her board (A great little tradition we have -- each child has a collection of large post-it pad sheets on their wall and every night when they go to bed, I write something positive about them and how I feel about them.)  Michael was excited to tell me about his math (which I totally don't understand, but faked it).  Joe was just exhausted and thankful that he didn't have to make all the decisions tonight.

Me...I am happy to be a part of -- while I am conscience and able to do so.  

Wandering and wondering

It has been quite a while since I sat and ate some Monkey Stew...how did so much time get away from me?

I have been on such a long and arduous journey that it would take too much to update here, but in fits and starts it will all come out.  Suffice to say, in the past 18 months, I have learned plenty...more than I ever expected I would learn.  In some ways, I have made tremendous strides and accomplishments.  In others, I have held onto to comfort and remained complacent.  As part of my making sense of the last trek, I commit to my regular helpings of Monkey Stew....won't you join me for a serving or two?

Be Careful What You Ask For

Sound advice!  My life is an embarssment of riches and I can't take it anymore.  I am more than willing to share the riches of my success because I can't manage it! 

My business has taken off so quickly that I can't keep up with demand and I have a hard time saying "no" to new clients.  So, this leaves me completely overscheduled.  I have added the equivalent of a whole day to my calendar without having the luxury of actually have those hours to schedule.  In addition, my teaching career is taking off and it looks like I am being asked to teach more classes next year -- which is something I would really love to do. 

My children are level, loving and involved in terrific activities as I had hoped for.  This means that the requirements on me are getting more intense as they need additional support and encouragement.  I give this willingly and freely, but not without noting the additional drain on my already subpar energy levels.

My relationship with Joe is terrific.  I don't know what I would do without him, but the crazy schedule has taken away some of our free time and I miss him terribly.  I have to be so mindful about our connection that the naturalness of it seems to be taken somewhat away.

I have really found a friend in my ex husband, which is a joy.  It is something that I have hoped for since we made the decision to separate.  The challenge is how to grow this new fangled relationship in the face of all the stumbling blocks we have overcome.

OK...I get it.  My life is good.  I am thankful.  I just wish it was this good in smaller pieces so that I could take it all in and enjoy it a bit more!!

Trusting the wings and pissing off the youngun's!

So, Michael has hit that critical age.  The one where parents lose any small vestige of control and influence they might have had.  That stage is called "Middle School".  I see now that I need to trust him more because I have no choice.  He will be coming home by himself.  He will be socializing on a new level.  He is capable.  I am not.

This has been a struggle for both of us.  He still wants me to manage certain things and there are others that I am not supposed to be involved in.  The problem is that I don't know which is which.  It changes every day. There are certain things that I refuse to do now.  For example, I am done managing his social life.  When he wants to see a friend, he tells me that he wants me to call the parent and set up a play date.  I am no longer doing that.  I told him that if he wants to see or talk to his friends, he can pick up the phone and make it happen.   He doesn't need me to do that.

I also am beginning to realize that there may be added benefit for me if I let him have more freedom.  For example, I have begun to trust him to stay home and watch Olivia for short trips to the store.  He has taken to the babysitting without any loss of limb or arson charge.  So far, so good.  Just think...when I can trust him to really watch Olivia...the ultimate freedom!  I may even add a trip to Starbucks to my grocery run!

Of course, this all comes at a price.  Michael has been advocating for his first cell phone.  I finally agreed.  Michael put in his order for an iphone 4S with all the bells and whistles.  I told him that I don't see him with an iphone just yet...but he pitched a strong case for himself.

Last Saturday, Michael and I went to Verizon to get his phone activated.  He was so excited when I went to the counter and said "My son would like a cell phone so let's add a line to my account.  I would like him to have unlimited call and text but no internet (he didn't like that part so much).  I would also like to get an iphone 4S, 64gb.   (Michael's eyes got wide with excitement.)  I would like the iphone to be put on my line and have this put on Michael's line (as I reached into my pocket and brought a refurbished flip phone.)"  Michael was ...  what's the word?????     Pissed!

Overall though, Michael is having a blast playing with ring tones and texting me from the other side of the living room....and every second from the minute I leave the house until I return.  Perhaps that is why there has been no arson....he is too distracted to touch the stove....

Awash with Opportunity

So, leaving my job was such a scary thing.  For me, for my family, for the universe really (because doesnt the universe revolve around me???).  Now that I have been at this for two months, I have some other challenges other than surviving. 

Everything seems to be coming to fruition all at the same time.  My clinical practice is basically full.  I am only taking on new clients as replacements as current clients move on.  The book is starting to progress.  It looks likely that I will be joining the faculty at one of the Boston colleges and work with clinics is pending.  There is so much opportunity (and I am not laughing at you Karma....really ... no need to seek revenge!) that I have to start being more judicious in how I schedule and fit it all in. 

I have sacrificed some of my evening family time with the thought that it is "just for now" while I figure it all out.  My plan is to scale back once I know how it all works.  This is a new type of learning for me....focus.  Now that I have tipped over the apple cart and have seen where all the apples are, it is time to start picking them all up and stacking them neatly back in the cart.  That part is always a bit more challenging for me. 

Anyone want to make applesauce with me????

Stretching Out

One of the great things about not being so overwhelmed with stress and work is that I have time to stretch out in really cool and new ways.  I figured, while I had unstructured time, I should really  invest in myself as much as possible.  It took me a while to start to figure it out, but here is where my focus is being placed:

Growing my practice.  This is critical and I am trying to think outside of the box and am marketing myself in every conceivable way.  I have always been a good networker and I look to find opportunities to speak to one new person everyday.

Getting the book completed.  This has been a bit more daunting that I realized.  It is a fun and important project but I am slowly realizing how much of a time suck it is going to be.  I am happy to invest in because it is important and I am 100% committed, but it still makes me take pause every once in a while and ask, "Can I really pull this off?"  (For those of you that know me...you have the answer.)

Diversifying my career.  I am speaking to a local college next week to discuss becoming an adjunct instructor.  This will be a great addition to my resume and puts me back on the academic track.  I have always had a Ph.D. in me...and I can feel it coming closer.  I am also looking to partner with other agencies to create multiple income streams.  Even if the stream is small and shallow...it is important!

Learning ASL.  There are only 5 registered ASL therapists in MA.  I have always wanted to learn and what a better motivation!?  My friend Lana is going to teach me and I can't wait!  I know the alphabet and numbers but hopefully I will be signing as fast as I talk in no time at all!

Spending more time relaxing.  Unfortunately, the working out has suffered a bit but I am spending more time doing things that bring me pleasure, like knitting, reading, cooking and going for a run.  It is hard to do this sometimes though because I am still not used to just doing what I want during the day and having no accountability unless I set it up.  It is weird but feels good.

Tending the home fires.  I find that I am far more relaxed and the family is the overall winner.  Everyone seems more relaxed, stress free and chill.

All I need now is...

OK...Transition update time!

I can't believe that I am as busy as I am!  I am seeing about 10-15 clients regularly (wish they all came every week!).  I am hoping for for 30 regular so I am between 1/3 and 1/2 there.  Not bad for only doing this for one month and we are entering summer (the slow season for therapy...I guess anxiety gets a vacation too!).

The book is also taking up quite a bit of time.  I have spent hours this week lining up the contributors.  I have donors, surros, parents, doctors, lawyers, clinicians...all writing their pieces.  I can't believe that this is all coming together.  I have had this book in my head for several years and to see it come to life is ... like giving birth!  However, I may need the epidural before this over...

The other projects I am working on are getting licensed in Connecticut to work over the border and supplement the income and trying to get an adjunct position at one of the universities as a field advisor.  So, clearly there is a lot going on.  All I have to do now is get people to give me money for all this work!  I have never been happier or more challenged, but also very nervous until I see greater evidence that all this work is going to pay off...literally.  So...all you loyal readers, this boy needs all of your good karma and if you have a referral or two...that would also help!