Stretching Out

One of the great things about not being so overwhelmed with stress and work is that I have time to stretch out in really cool and new ways.  I figured, while I had unstructured time, I should really  invest in myself as much as possible.  It took me a while to start to figure it out, but here is where my focus is being placed:

Growing my practice.  This is critical and I am trying to think outside of the box and am marketing myself in every conceivable way.  I have always been a good networker and I look to find opportunities to speak to one new person everyday.

Getting the book completed.  This has been a bit more daunting that I realized.  It is a fun and important project but I am slowly realizing how much of a time suck it is going to be.  I am happy to invest in because it is important and I am 100% committed, but it still makes me take pause every once in a while and ask, "Can I really pull this off?"  (For those of you that know me...you have the answer.)

Diversifying my career.  I am speaking to a local college next week to discuss becoming an adjunct instructor.  This will be a great addition to my resume and puts me back on the academic track.  I have always had a Ph.D. in me...and I can feel it coming closer.  I am also looking to partner with other agencies to create multiple income streams.  Even if the stream is small and shallow...it is important!

Learning ASL.  There are only 5 registered ASL therapists in MA.  I have always wanted to learn and what a better motivation!?  My friend Lana is going to teach me and I can't wait!  I know the alphabet and numbers but hopefully I will be signing as fast as I talk in no time at all!

Spending more time relaxing.  Unfortunately, the working out has suffered a bit but I am spending more time doing things that bring me pleasure, like knitting, reading, cooking and going for a run.  It is hard to do this sometimes though because I am still not used to just doing what I want during the day and having no accountability unless I set it up.  It is weird but feels good.

Tending the home fires.  I find that I am far more relaxed and the family is the overall winner.  Everyone seems more relaxed, stress free and chill.

All I need now is...

OK...Transition update time!

I can't believe that I am as busy as I am!  I am seeing about 10-15 clients regularly (wish they all came every week!).  I am hoping for for 30 regular so I am between 1/3 and 1/2 there.  Not bad for only doing this for one month and we are entering summer (the slow season for therapy...I guess anxiety gets a vacation too!).

The book is also taking up quite a bit of time.  I have spent hours this week lining up the contributors.  I have donors, surros, parents, doctors, lawyers, clinicians...all writing their pieces.  I can't believe that this is all coming together.  I have had this book in my head for several years and to see it come to life is ... like giving birth!  However, I may need the epidural before this over...

The other projects I am working on are getting licensed in Connecticut to work over the border and supplement the income and trying to get an adjunct position at one of the universities as a field advisor.  So, clearly there is a lot going on.  All I have to do now is get people to give me money for all this work!  I have never been happier or more challenged, but also very nervous until I see greater evidence that all this work is going to pay off...literally.  So...all you loyal readers, this boy needs all of your good karma and if you have a referral or two...that would also help!

Friends, Food and Family

Yesterday was such a terrific day of connections and reconnections.

It was Gay Pride in Boston and Joe had to work.  The kids weren't with me and I was missing them.  (I love when they are home...everything is right with the world when I see them in their beds...)  So, the day was mine and I had no commitments other than the ones I chose to make.  IT has been a long time since I have had that kind of freedom and I made the most of it.

I went to the parade in the morning with Tressa, Miri and Jake.  We laughed, caught beads and enjoyed a really fun and festive parade.  It was like old times where everything was easy and quick quips would turn us into hysterical laughter every couple of minutes.  During the parade, I ran into someone I went to elementary school with and a friend from High School, Ken, who is on a very interesting personal journey.

I had several hours by myself to stroll through town and went to the festival and was able to do some marketing for my practice and make some great connections that will lead to new and interesting work.  It felt good and brought a new level of excitement for what is coming.  I didn't want to spend money so I didn't go shopping or buy food that I didn't need.  Instead, I sat and actually enjoyed the weather, people watching and felt that I could slow down and just be.

Then a huge moment.  I was able to connect and have dinner with friends that I haven't seen in nearly 20 years.  Ann, who I found out is living in Worcester and Charlie, who was visiting from London with her husband and brother and I were able to reconnect with Joe for dinner.  It was an amazing dinner.  We talked like no time had passed, shared stories of amazing times and laughed like only friends who have been through something special can do. 

I ended the night with Dane, Michelle, and great friends from grad school as we watched their wedding video on an oustide screen by a fire pit and ate the top layer of their wedding cake.  As always, the food was out of this world and the friendship meaningful. 

Wow...the life of an adult is pretty good!!

Going back

Just before I left my job, I agreed to do four days of consulting.  The first is tomorrow.  Here is what I realize:

1.  That job really was emotionally challenging and unhealthy for me.  I don't know how I survived the stress and anxiety of it day to day (other than knowing that there other really great people that worked there)

2.  I am having huge anxiety at the thought of going back so soon.  I wish I had more time before re-entering the building, but unfortunately the work has to be done now.  I want to maintain as many positive relationships as I can, but I am really feeling dread about walking in tomorrow.  I am sure it will be fine, but if I feel like this now, it is a real indicator of what daily life was like before.

3.  I am so thankful to have so much opportunity in front of me.  It is extremely anxiety provoking (in a good way) to have to build it and survive on my own, but I now hold my own destiny and am doing all I can to reach higher and work harder.  All of this with no one trying to break me down (other than my own self-defeating inner voice when things get crazy).

4.  I will get through two days this week and two days next week (and the money is appreciated!) and then I should spend some time reflecting on all of it because if I have this reaction at the thought of going there, I have some baggage that needs tending to!