Well, after spending some time thinking about settling into my apartment, I started thinking more broadly. This is bigger than making myself feel like I have a home even if I don't own it. I realized that it was time for a change in perspective.
It's over...finally. My divorce. For the past two plus years I have living my life as a person that is going through a divorce. As a result, I haven't been able to move on, I have been afraid of what was going to come (or not going to come), and everything seemed to be in relationship to how it was connected to my divorce. It was time to finally take a deep breath and realize that I am not getting divorced. I am divorced. It is not happening. It has happened. Past tense. Time to be situated in present and future tense. What AM I doing and what WILL I do is very different from what HAS happened.
It may sound strange or even simple, but once I said to myself that "as of today, I am divorced. Period" I felt a huge weight lifted from me. I instantly felt more confident and in charge. I don't care that I am single. I don't care that I have to carry the weight of the financial burden and leadership of this little tribe of mine. In fact, I began to celebrate. I felt ...not joy...but a satisfaction that I accomplished something and felt like a survivor instead of a person living through divorce.
It's over...finally. My divorce. For the past two plus years I have living my life as a person that is going through a divorce. As a result, I haven't been able to move on, I have been afraid of what was going to come (or not going to come), and everything seemed to be in relationship to how it was connected to my divorce. It was time to finally take a deep breath and realize that I am not getting divorced. I am divorced. It is not happening. It has happened. Past tense. Time to be situated in present and future tense. What AM I doing and what WILL I do is very different from what HAS happened.
It may sound strange or even simple, but once I said to myself that "as of today, I am divorced. Period" I felt a huge weight lifted from me. I instantly felt more confident and in charge. I don't care that I am single. I don't care that I have to carry the weight of the financial burden and leadership of this little tribe of mine. In fact, I began to celebrate. I felt ...not joy...but a satisfaction that I accomplished something and felt like a survivor instead of a person living through divorce.
Amen my friend. I know how u feel. I cant wait for that day it feels final!!
ReplyDeleteGood for you! That's great. I remember that feeling about 5 years ago. It will still be a ride, but it's very freeing!
ReplyDeleteKen