So I have spent a fair amount of time lately asking some of my co-workers for feedback. As my grandmother always said..."Don't ask a question if you don't want the answer." I have had the sense lately that I have been a bit polarizing at the office wanted to understand what has been going on. Let's just say it took a bit of time to digest!
Some of the folks said that they liked social Elliott much more than work Elliott. I couldn't understand that because I think I am the same in both situations. I found that almost no one could articulate the issue for me. Finally, one co-worker said that it was almost all due to my position. Because the authority with my role is undefined, but that I am clearly a part of the management team, they don't know how to interact with me and so it feels like sometimes when I ask for something or want a response for them, it can be seen as demanding or interrupting. She also said that they are frustrated because they see a fracturing of the different parts of the business and they don't feel they have a ready an access to the top tier. Because I am with the owner every day, they percieve that I have his ear and they want their requests and information and frustrations to go through me (although they don't share much with me) and feel that it stops with me so I am some type of gate keeper.
Another co-worker told me that it was my tone of voice...that sometimes I am "too business and not personal enough". While I don't understand that, it is something that I can be mindful of and really keep an ear out for. She gave me a few examples and was able to articulate how I might have handled a few situations better. For that I was grateful.
What made all of this difficult for me is that the one thing I value above all else is relationship. I pride myself on my relationship abilities. I have heard from previous teams that I have led in other organizations that I am the best leader they have ever had and that our team was the only reason they came to work. Never before have I been in this position. It really cuts me to the core of my values and self identity. I am really taking this to heart...and will learn from it.
My biggest concern is that I find it is making me tentative. It is making me second guess my interactions with all staff and is inhibiting my ability to drive results and be successful. I need to spend some time getting some clearer perspective and seeing what it will take to overcome the misperceptions due to my job/role and to own what is truly my responsibility to change...no easy task.
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This might help... listen to what you just wrote: "...drive results". That is certainly current management-speak, but from the worker-bee persepctive, it is dehumanizing. Do you want to be "driven" (like a car? like cattle?), or do you want to be treated some other way? Yes, "drive results" is the way things are said to get done these days, but at what cost? At the cost of relationships, I think. "Manage results", "facilitate results" or some other verb would articulate a different, less ruthless management philosophy. By the way, you're not wrong to "drive results", but that might be more appropriate in a less human-focused organization, such as a corporate environment. When you, Elliott, set out to "drive results", that's ruthless, take-no-prisoners attitude, and I can well imagine the tone that is used in that situation. You're in an organization that deals in creating lives, and asking humans to share of themselves, perhaps "drive results" strangles the humanity out of the equation?
ReplyDeleteIndeed...I couldn't agree more. I try to keep my internal dialogue of driving forward as just that...internal. I tihnk a major difference is that I have particular goals to reach and the majority of the staff manages process without financial goals that keep the business viable...a very different kind of pressure.
ReplyDeleteI certainly hope that I never have a "take no prisoners, ruthless presentation" but it may in fact be how I am perceived...and something I will be mindful of. I truly appreciate having that put so plainly...It is something that I will not forget going forward!
I feel like I am in a squeeze position of having 95% of the total responsibility for new clients coming in the door (huge pressure as you can imagine), being accountable to "the top" while filtering in more work to the masses that do the day to day process...without direct management authority. We work in an undefined matrix which can be confusing ... staff don't know why certain things are done by certain people in certain situations and often respond defensively.
It is my hope that in the new year, the confusion (as a direct result of major organizational growth) will be cleared up and the matrix will be better defined so that my internal need to accomplish goals (which is true in all aspects of my life...not just work) can be satisfied and wrapped in my relationship skills without having to battle the confusion that we all face currently. Does that make sense?
Then...all I have to manage is when I put my own foot in my mouth...and that I have no problem owning!