Another new thing to learn

Today was a hard day. I have a particular co-worker who I struggle with. She is intelligent, incredibly capable, amazing in a crisis, but we just don’t gel. It all came to a head today. We were trying to come to resolution on something that should have been a no-brainer. However, because she asked me to do something – and it is in the way she talks to me – I felt attacked. I became defensive and it immediately spiraled out of control on both sides. It was like gas on a fire. And to make matters worse, our new employee was witness to it all. I felt awful. I actually went back in to apologize and she was having none of it. Ugh.


I spent a good portion of my afternoon feeling crappy. I am really trying to understand why this woman pushes my buttons so quickly and why I react so defensively with her. I am not proud of it and I want to stop…even if she doesn’t. I actually sent her an email this evening apologizing for the altercation (although I didn’t place blame on either side) and told her that I was committed to making a positive resolution and harmonious working relationships. I also sent an apology to the new employee because I felt bad that she was witness to it all.

I am not sure what the reactions to my emails will be, but I am better than this. I can make better choices. I must understand why this fires me up and undo the triggers. But for now….ugh.