So, a new day...
I am still thinking a lot about what I wrote yesterday. I am incredibly aware of how much I am in my own way. It seems that my eyes are open in a different way. I am noticing how people react to me...how I react to people. How my body feels physically and emotionally. I think I may have really tapped into a different understanding of the day to day and feel like I can't just put it aside. (Just bear with me for a while as I figure this out...)
It is like when you buy a new car...and then as you drive down the road, it seems that everyone is driving that car. My awareness has been sharpened on a few things. I was talking with Joe last night about how I parent my children based on my needs, not theirs. I contemplated this and I realize that I interact with others based on my need, not theirs (or least not in unison of our mutual need...). No wonder everything feels like it takes more energy than it should...because I am expending more energy than I need to!
Someone at work told me last week that he thought I was hungry for power and status to satisfy my ego (not in a "you are a bad person way" but in a "I think you are eager to accomplish things and have status" way.) I was shocked. I told him that my ego wasn't that big and that I was just focused on the task at hand. And, yes...accomplishment was big for me. I don't like to be stagnant. I must always be in motion. But, why? Maybe my ego does need a certain amount of constant feeding and I need to be aware of that so that I can stop being driven by it.
Insights anyone?
I am still thinking a lot about what I wrote yesterday. I am incredibly aware of how much I am in my own way. It seems that my eyes are open in a different way. I am noticing how people react to me...how I react to people. How my body feels physically and emotionally. I think I may have really tapped into a different understanding of the day to day and feel like I can't just put it aside. (Just bear with me for a while as I figure this out...)
It is like when you buy a new car...and then as you drive down the road, it seems that everyone is driving that car. My awareness has been sharpened on a few things. I was talking with Joe last night about how I parent my children based on my needs, not theirs. I contemplated this and I realize that I interact with others based on my need, not theirs (or least not in unison of our mutual need...). No wonder everything feels like it takes more energy than it should...because I am expending more energy than I need to!
Someone at work told me last week that he thought I was hungry for power and status to satisfy my ego (not in a "you are a bad person way" but in a "I think you are eager to accomplish things and have status" way.) I was shocked. I told him that my ego wasn't that big and that I was just focused on the task at hand. And, yes...accomplishment was big for me. I don't like to be stagnant. I must always be in motion. But, why? Maybe my ego does need a certain amount of constant feeding and I need to be aware of that so that I can stop being driven by it.
Insights anyone?
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