Getting out of my own way

I spend a great amount of time trying to improve who I am, how I live my life and how I guide my family through all that is in front of us.  Some days I feel great accomplishment and find equal amounts of joy and satisfaction in what my new learning and awareness means to me.  However, I am also aware that there is so much more that I must go through to be able to fully live in a connected and self actualized way.

I find that I am still in great need of acceptance from everyone I meet, feel great injury if someone doesn't like me or says something harsh to me, find that my parenting is often driven by my own needs rather than the needs of my children and the reality is harsh to me.

When people at work say attacking or unaccepting things to me and I feel/act defensive, when I make snap reactions to Michael's behaviors and comments, when I mismanage my budget by buying products that I don't need or want because I need to feel a satisfaction, I realize how unaware I still am on a daily basis.  Every once in a while, when I have a moment to sit and think about it, I realize that I am my own worst enemy.  I cause most all of the anxiety, stress and emotional unease in my life.  I have to learn to get out of my own way so that my life can continue on the projection it is intended.  I know that this awareness will come and go...but for today, I am mindful.