It was inevitable

It was inevitable.  It had to happen.  I knew it was coming eventually but one never expects it when it actually happens.  Then you get surprised and flummoxed (again, my favorite word!).  Then you think, how do I deal with this?  How do I respond?  Oy, the drama of the first real disagreement!

It really was about nothing that significant on the outside, but things just seemed to get heated really quickly.  I am not sure why.  It all started like a good, thoughtful conversation and then all of a sudden neither of us thought the other was really listening and we started to "make our point."  That is when things go down hill.  Ego.  Right smack in the way.  It felt like it was more important to both of us to ensure that the other one understood us than it was to sit back and listen and acknowledge what each other was expressing, in emotion as much as words. 

This was a good learning lesson for what this relationship can manage.  Here is what I learned:

• I am thankful that I have a partner that is willing to communicate that he is unhappy (frustrated or any other emotion) and doesn't just roll over and play dead
• I have to readjust my approach so that he knows I really am listening
• I have to be careful so that I don't sound preachy when I feel like I am not being heard
• If I am not feeling heard, stop.  Try something new and check in for understanding.  I might not have had to go so far if he really did hear me.  Perhaps I was stressing something that didn't need to be stressed. 
• Reconfirm that the emotion in the moment is just that.  In the moment.  It doesn't dictate my overall feelings or my opinion of our relationship. 
• I am so glad we are over this hurdle.  It is so much better than waiting for that first disagreement!