So…I have this friend who has been going through a really tough time for the past three years. Harder times than I think I could have survived to be completely honest with you. During the worst of it, he relied on me a lot. He needed strong guidance and someone to carry the load. I was happy to do it because he is such a great guy.
Then, as he got stronger and more capable of dealing with the trauma and hardship in his life, my role ebbed back into being a “friend” more than a “driver”. This caused a seismic shift in our relationship because he felt abandoned and questioned my commitment to him. I can only imagine what a frightening and lonely feeling that was for him. We have since had discussions that, in my opinion, I have not abandoned him but my stepping back from managing situations for him is a celebration of his self efficacy and ability to make good choices. And now, we can be very balanced friends.
I know my friend reads this blog and nothing written here is new news to him. But I think that every once in a while you have to tell someone that you are proud of them. That you think their personal journey is one that serves as a learning lesson for others. That you realize that life is still hard and there are major challenges to overcome – but that you know they can do it.
Friend – I am impressed by how far you have come. You have inspired me. I may not be carrying you anymore…but I am always there for you.
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