I have always had the notion that being in a relationship meant that it was formed through compromise. Each partner giving and taking as needed -- hopefully in a fashion that didn't make the other feel like a loss has occurred. Growing up, I understood that to be a good partner you had to forgoe something and your partner would do the same to meet you in the middle. All in all, it felt like both partners had to settle for the best situation they could negotiate. Settling.
Of late, I have had the wonderful opportunity to begin a relationship. This relationship feels different to me. While, I have to admit, it has only been a few weeks, this feels completely different. I haven't looked at him, us or our time together and made any trade offs at all. No he is really great but ...and I can overlook that . No I wonder why he does that...and I wonder if I can teach him to stop. No I wonder if I can slip that out of his wardrobe without him noticing that it is gone.
I have been feeling quite at ease with everything. The pace feels natural, not rushed or dragged. The level of intimacy feels right. All of our social, intellectual, and emotional engagements have felt fulfilling and natural. I am at ease with where this relationship is today. I don't feel the need to speed it up or take it down. I don't feel the need to explain why we are together or why this guy. I just feel.....settled.
This has brought a new understanding; a new perspective on relationships. I am not sure that I have ever felt settled in a relationship. I have had previous relationships with wonderful people that have added rich color to my life...and I will always be grateful for them. Some of them are still in my life...others have sadly slipped away. (Perhaps a side effect of settling?) However, I have often tried to manage, control, negotiate and/or protect a relationship (because it felt fragile?). I make no promises or predictions of what happens next other than I am feeling completely in this moment, loving every second of it and feeling great in my skin....Settled.
Of late, I have had the wonderful opportunity to begin a relationship. This relationship feels different to me. While, I have to admit, it has only been a few weeks, this feels completely different. I haven't looked at him, us or our time together and made any trade offs at all. No he is really great but ...and I can overlook that . No I wonder why he does that...and I wonder if I can teach him to stop. No I wonder if I can slip that out of his wardrobe without him noticing that it is gone.
I have been feeling quite at ease with everything. The pace feels natural, not rushed or dragged. The level of intimacy feels right. All of our social, intellectual, and emotional engagements have felt fulfilling and natural. I am at ease with where this relationship is today. I don't feel the need to speed it up or take it down. I don't feel the need to explain why we are together or why this guy. I just feel.....settled.
This has brought a new understanding; a new perspective on relationships. I am not sure that I have ever felt settled in a relationship. I have had previous relationships with wonderful people that have added rich color to my life...and I will always be grateful for them. Some of them are still in my life...others have sadly slipped away. (Perhaps a side effect of settling?) However, I have often tried to manage, control, negotiate and/or protect a relationship (because it felt fragile?). I make no promises or predictions of what happens next other than I am feeling completely in this moment, loving every second of it and feeling great in my skin....Settled.
Very, very happy for you my dear friend!!! You deserve the happiness you have found! He is a great person and you compliment each other!! :)
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