You know when you are just sitting on the couch and all of a sudden you get a moment of reality. It could be about anything at all...like I forgot I have cookies in the oven or I haven't seen my blue, french cuff dress shirt in a while...where is that? I often have those moments and they drive me crazy. All of a sudden I get obsessed, focused and can't think of anything else. I had such a moment the other day. What raced across my mind? O. M. G. I am on the downhill slide....my life is more than half over. What have I forgotten to do?
OK...Those that really know me know that I have a small love of the dramatic...but this really sent me for a tizzy. I started thinking about my quality of life, how I am managing my relationship with my kids (will I have enough time to rebuild any damage I do to them?), my work/life balance, losing weight, flossing, etc. etc. etc. I actually had to stop and breathe because I could feel myself starting to hyperventilate a bit.
My biggest fear is that it will all be over before I am done. I know this is probably because my father died only three years older than I am now. I know that he died feeling unaccomplished. We discussed it. I never want that to happen. I don't want to miss the big moments with my kids. I want to see where this relationship with Joe really can go. I want to get a stronger handle on my contributions professionally. I want to feel good in my body. I don't want to floss more but want to have the history of doing it.
So, I have been making decisions, small and large to start making more forward movement. I started taking a bigger assessment of my career and what comes next. I registered for the Boston Marathon and committed to making my body ready. And...I have flossed everyday since....
OK...Those that really know me know that I have a small love of the dramatic...but this really sent me for a tizzy. I started thinking about my quality of life, how I am managing my relationship with my kids (will I have enough time to rebuild any damage I do to them?), my work/life balance, losing weight, flossing, etc. etc. etc. I actually had to stop and breathe because I could feel myself starting to hyperventilate a bit.
My biggest fear is that it will all be over before I am done. I know this is probably because my father died only three years older than I am now. I know that he died feeling unaccomplished. We discussed it. I never want that to happen. I don't want to miss the big moments with my kids. I want to see where this relationship with Joe really can go. I want to get a stronger handle on my contributions professionally. I want to feel good in my body. I don't want to floss more but want to have the history of doing it.
So, I have been making decisions, small and large to start making more forward movement. I started taking a bigger assessment of my career and what comes next. I registered for the Boston Marathon and committed to making my body ready. And...I have flossed everyday since....
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