OK, tonight was a real reality check for me. The kids were with my ex and I decided that rather stay home and focus on the ironing again, that I would go and do something fun. I have always loved the holidays so I thought I would do some early Christmas shopping and put it away for a few weeks.
My goal was to buy some things for the kids and ensure that Santa had some things for me and my stocking as well....after all, I didn't want the kids to ask why, all of a sudden, Santa didn't bring things for me. I wanted everything to be as normal as I could make it.
I went into several stores and struggled to put anything in the cart. I have never had a problem shopping. In fact, I could win Olympic gold if it was an option. But, this was different. This year there would be no gifts for me under the tree or in my stocking unless I put them there. I couldn't bear to spend money on anything. I don't have a lot of spare space and I don't need anything. Sure there were things that I liked, but this whole year has been about learning to do with less, to downsize, to live frugally. To buy for the sake of buying was just ... well.... wrong. So I bought a few small things that I could do with the kids....and toilet paper. One can never have enough toilet paper.
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