Just before I left my job, I agreed to do four days of consulting. The first is tomorrow. Here is what I realize:
1. That job really was emotionally challenging and unhealthy for me. I don't know how I survived the stress and anxiety of it day to day (other than knowing that there other really great people that worked there)
2. I am having huge anxiety at the thought of going back so soon. I wish I had more time before re-entering the building, but unfortunately the work has to be done now. I want to maintain as many positive relationships as I can, but I am really feeling dread about walking in tomorrow. I am sure it will be fine, but if I feel like this now, it is a real indicator of what daily life was like before.
3. I am so thankful to have so much opportunity in front of me. It is extremely anxiety provoking (in a good way) to have to build it and survive on my own, but I now hold my own destiny and am doing all I can to reach higher and work harder. All of this with no one trying to break me down (other than my own self-defeating inner voice when things get crazy).
4. I will get through two days this week and two days next week (and the money is appreciated!) and then I should spend some time reflecting on all of it because if I have this reaction at the thought of going there, I have some baggage that needs tending to!
1. That job really was emotionally challenging and unhealthy for me. I don't know how I survived the stress and anxiety of it day to day (other than knowing that there other really great people that worked there)
2. I am having huge anxiety at the thought of going back so soon. I wish I had more time before re-entering the building, but unfortunately the work has to be done now. I want to maintain as many positive relationships as I can, but I am really feeling dread about walking in tomorrow. I am sure it will be fine, but if I feel like this now, it is a real indicator of what daily life was like before.
3. I am so thankful to have so much opportunity in front of me. It is extremely anxiety provoking (in a good way) to have to build it and survive on my own, but I now hold my own destiny and am doing all I can to reach higher and work harder. All of this with no one trying to break me down (other than my own self-defeating inner voice when things get crazy).
4. I will get through two days this week and two days next week (and the money is appreciated!) and then I should spend some time reflecting on all of it because if I have this reaction at the thought of going there, I have some baggage that needs tending to!
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